Your kids need a guardian - when the unthinkable happens

When most people think about their children needing a guardian, thoughts of car accidents or heart attacks may come to mind. We aren’t talking about naming a guardian so your kids qualify for a better financial aid package, like some families in Illinois have been doing (if you missed that story, you can check out a clip here where my good friend Atty. Andrew Stoltmann talks about it).

Thinking about the unthinkable can feel tough.

But not thinking about it can make the situation much, much worse.

So, today is a bit of a tough love session to tell you what you need to hear about a topic you may have a tough time thinking about…

I’m sharing with you the top 5 things to consider when naming a guardian for your minor children. Here we go:

1) Assume your plan needs to work tomorrow. One of the most frequently asked questions parents have is about relatives who are, you know, getting a bit up there in age. And whether those people should be named because the parents are worried those aging relatives won’t be around very long. When I ask who they want to take care of their kids if the plan needs to work tomorrow, it’s almost always that person…. Guardians, trustees, executors – these are all things that are super easy to update. So the best advice I can give on this issue is plan like it needs to work tomorrow.

2) Choose parenting values over…. Anything else. The most important thing to consider when choosing a guardian is the parenting values you want to leave for your kids. Not how old the guardian is, not what kind of house they live in, or whether they have the money or space to bring your little one(s) into their lives.

3) Don’t get hung up on the idea of it being a burden to someone else. Would you do the same if the other person asked you to take care of their children? If they don’t have children, would you be willing to serve as power of attorney for that person and make decisions for them if they could not? If you are really worried about this issue, ask the other person how they fell about what you would like them to do. Then listen to what they say. The vast majority of the time, the other person will say yes, absolutely, they would serve as guardian for your kid(s). And if they don’t feel like they can, they will likely have another suggestion for you.

4) Get real with yourself about their finances – and plan accordingly. If the person you would most want to take care of your kids is not someone you think has the financial resources to add to their household, then be honest with yourself about that. And fix it. Life insurance, home equity, retirement accounts, and other assets will be available to them if you plan for it. This one is easy to fix and will make sure they don’t feel saddled with a big responsibility – and a big burden.

5) Don’t name a couple – unless you are ok with either of them serving as the guardian for your kids. Plus, what if they get divorced? This is a common mistake I see even lawyers make all the time. Be super clear about who you want to serve as guardian for your kids. And if you want your sister, but not her husband, then say so.

Not naming someone proactively means a judge will get to appoint someone if your kids ever do need a guardian. And it may or may not be the person you would have chosen. If you never saw the story I told about the baby who survived a horrific car crash and ended up with a family member her parents never would have chosen to be her guardian, let’s just say that when there is the possibility of a multi-million dollar settlement on the line, lots of relatives have a tendency to show up. So make it easy, pick the person you want most to be there if you can’t be, and let’s all hope you never, ever need those documents.

But if you do, it will make everyone’s lives so much easier during a time that is already going to be difficult. If you want to find out how to get your own documents in place, on their own or as part of a comprehensive estate plan, click here to book a free 15 minute call to discuss what you need, what we do, and how to get it all done.